Blonde Witness

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

"I object!" the defense said again.

"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."

The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."

So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know."

Project Managers

If you get in my way, I'll kill you!

- ideal project manager


If you get in my way, you'll kill me!

- somewhat less than ideal project manager


If I get in my way, I'll kill you!

- somewhat misguided project manager


If I get in your way, I'll kill you!

- A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.)


If get kill in will way I you.

- dyslexic, functionally illiterate project

manager


I am the way! Kill me if you can!

- messianic project manager


Get away, I'll kill us all!

- suicidal project manager


If you kill me, I'll get in your way.

- thoughtful but ineffective project manager


If I kill you, I'll get in your way.

- project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious


If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.

- project manager from New York


I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so

no one will get killed.

- project manager who is about to get in big trouble


If you kill me, so what? If you get in my way, who cares?

- weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager


If I kill me, you'll get your way.

- pragmatic project manager


Kill me, it's the only way.

- every project manager to date.